I won't let you down/Seussical

Tonight Kaitlyn had a "Seussical" at school. The entire _____ Grade was celebrating the life and books written by Dr. Seuss and the fact that children love to read what he wrote (ok, how many of us adults love his books?!).
Kaitlyn was a "narrator" and had a small part in which she was to speak for Horton as he stated "I won't let you down, no! I won't let you fall!" as he attempted to protect the tiny speck of dust on which the inhabitants of Whoville lived and it reminded me of God's words to us and the words so many adoptive parents tell their children-if only every adoptive family could stick by that.

Now-please understand the above is NOT said in judgment of all or necessarily any family/ families that find it necessary to dissolve the adoption union they have or had with the child they desired to parent! I have been privileged to assist several families with finding new homes (aka "re-homing") their adoptive children for whatever reason-and must admit that there ARE extenuating circumstances that cause a family to consider dissolution of an adoption. Most biological families do not "dissolve" their unions with the children but I do know some that wish they could! :)

The only problem I have with dissolution and most families who suffer through or choose to dissolve their adoption is that they initially called themselves a "forever family" and THEN upon re-homing the child (ren) again tell that child (ren) "so-and-so will now be your forever family". JUST WHEN DO THESE CHILDREN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND FOREVER?!?!? When or how do they learn to trust God, that HE is forever?! It must be noted that the new family needs to be stated just as that- "so-and-so will be your new parents and we pray that they are the correct and long-term family for you"; we pray that they are the ones who can say "I won't let you down, NO! I won't let you fall!"
WHY!? "...because a person is a person, no matter how small..." and "Oh the Places You Will Go" when you are placed in the correct family for you and you learn what it is like to be loved for who and what you are!

One of Kaitlyn's favorite places on the face of the earth is at the beach-it does not matter if the temperature is 20 degrees or 120 degrees-she will dig in the mud, hunt for shells, dig in the mud, look for "sea creatures", dig in the mud, chase birds, and have I mentioned- dig in the mud!? :)


































In December 2010 we visited a beach a few hours from home and we found some very cool looking purplish-blue jelly-fish! I am from Southern California and had NEVER seen jelly fish that looked like these-we even tried to "save" a few by helping them back into the tide but their tentacles were so tangled up they ended up washing back onto the shore and dying anyway.






Her first semester of school ended with "Rock Star students" and they had a day they were supposed to all come dressed as "Rock Stars" so of course Little Miss Kaitlyn HAD to be a Korean Pop star and she dug through her closet and chose an outfit that she felt made her look very cool and like a Korean Teen Pop-Star and we decided she looked Ready to R.O.K.!!! (how punny of us? get it? R.O.K.? Republic of Korea? lol, guess you had to live there to understand!? sometimes Korean sense of Humor rubs off on ya!).
Enjoy the updates and pics and hopefully I can keep this blog stuff a tad better updated?! :)

Breaking Hearts, anger, and where to go now

I have many reasons for not updating our blog-one of which is laziness and I am not proud of this "reason" but it is a fact of life. Moving, along with everything else going on, from the DC area back to Texas has taken its toll on my ability to be organized and I have just been plain lazy.
So, what would make a lazy woman decide to update a blog after so much time? Try anger, wondering where to go, what to do, and a broken heart!
While we lived in Korea our family aided several orphanages by providing medical care (I AM a nurse after all!), English lessons, tutoring for the children as needed/requested, and foster care for children and we tried to adopt a little boy we will call "Dennis" as that is the name he loved. Dennis is now 13 and was adopted at the age of 10 years old by a Korean Doctor and his wife; now mind you you must understand that in Korea, families can "return" a child -like a bad piece of equipment, an unwanted dress or pair of shoes, or any other unimportant item, for up to one year and that this DOCTOR was fully aware that Dennis had learning disabilities and that over the period of three years we maintained contact, and in 2008 when Kaitlyn and I were in Korean for 6 months Dennis stayed with us-anyway...back to the situation at hand.
During the first year Dennis was constantly under the threat of "being returned" and the "Good Doc" had promised that if they chose to return "the boy" his family would insure that our family would be allowed to adopt him (after all, we were the Americans who were "bumped" from the line due to a Korean family stepping up-never mind that they were given INCENTIVES to "take on the burden of a child not of the family blood" and essentially PAID to take him!). Fast forward now THREE YEARS and guess where THE SON OF MY HEART IS!?!?! YOU GUESSED IT- "Dennis" is sitting in an orphanage and it looks like the "GOOD DOCTOR" may have made it so that "Dennis" can NEVER again be adopted. SOOOO-
I am Broken hearted, angry, and not sure where to go, what to do now as the "Son" my husband and I had in our hearts is sitting in an orphanage in Korea...
on a happier note- please enjoy a few photos of the Princess!
The first picture is from 2009 with one of her favorite Dolls and the second is of her learning to bottle feed her youngest niece who was born April 2010.

Our return to the great Republic of T. has apparently helped rid Kaitlyn of her fear of bugs. She soon decided to "raise" a Walking Stick and was devistated when it died nearly a week later. I tried to explain that we probably would not have been able to catch it if it had not been an "older" Walking Stick, but she thinks I killed it while she was at school because I didn't want it running around in my kitchen (hmmm, it was a thought but the creature was so large it probably would have attacked ME! lol) . This pic was taken in May 2010. Oh, did I say the move helped rid her of her fear of bugs? Well, just so you know FLIES ARE NOT BUGS!! She will scream and run wild if she sees or hears a fly and it seems we have hoards (what the heck to you call thousands of flies!?) of them outside...

We still have not found another piano teacher for Miss Kaitlyn as she refuses an American/English teacher-she only wants a Korean speaking teacher (and we miss Chae, NamHee and her family!)

lessons in survival

Survival:

Miss Kaitlyn has learned much about survival since Thanksgiving.

She learned she can survive Christmas if only part of the family is home, no matter how much we desire to have 30 people sleeping and eating and playing in our house for Christmas it just isn't always possible (and I learned also!)

She learned what a blizzard is and that yes, one can survive an entire week without school, ballet, swimming, or other activities that require one to drive in a car or leave the house for that matter. She learned how to make snow angels, how to "dig an igloo", how many layers of clothes it takes to keep one warm when the temps are 20 degrees or less and the snow is 3+ feet deep, and that "wet snow" makes better snowballs than "dry snow" and that one CAN survive a snowball fight. lol

She learned that school is NOT the place to test the rules of "no talking during quiet time" and that she will and can survive not getting a perfect report from school- but she also learned it is not acceptable if you have not done your best. Mom and dad also learned we can survive finding out our daughter is not perfect :) We are actually thrilled that she got into trouble for talking in class as she is finally interacting with other students and is socially blossoming.

She has learned that as each day passes she despirately wants a sibling more than the day before and that desire does not go away and we are surviving this too. She has learned that survival does not mean giving up, it means finding a method to achieve ones dreams despite obstacles- so for now, we search for paths over, under, around, in the midst of our obstacles!

I pray you too learn something positive about "survival"!

21 days until...

November has come and gone-all too fast. How is it that time seems to go faster than it did a few years ago? We have so much to be thankful for, and I pray that we don't let our desires for worldly goods or to be the "best" overtake our thankful attitudes.
We spent the month of November trying to prepare for winter's inevitable coming-mentally prepare that is :) We had a small Thanksgiving feast with Grandpa and Halmammie and a few other family members. Kaitlyn got to spend the day with cousins and had a blast. It was warm enough to play outside (with a child, is it ever too cold to play outside?) and only required wearing a light jacket. Kaitlyn still has not learned the American "art" of eating until one feels as if they will burst, she has not acquired the taste for pumpkin pie, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, or vegetables that aren't spelled c-o-r-n, or k-i-m-c-h-i. She still only eats chocolate chip cookies but feels 2 is more than enough and usually gives 1/2 of the second one to her daddy or tries to feed it to the dog. Some days I wonder how she manages to grow so fast but figure Korean rameyon, kimchi, seaweed, rice, and soybean paste must be more nutritious than we give it credit (we do throw in a McDonald's hamburger happy meal on occasion! lol).
Today, 1 Dec, 2009 Miss Kaitlyn realized that in 21 days her sister will be here to visit. Then, it dawned on her that it is no longer November.
"momma, what will we do for December?"
"lol, we won't do anything "for" December. We will do lots of things IN December"
"oh, I forget in and for"
Kaitlyn has been living with us for 4.5 yrs and adopted/legally our daughter for 3 years and still she has days when she has to translate Korean / English in her little head. There are days she speaks better English than I and other days she seems to not understand a lick of English.
She still eats Korean food for breakfast-nearly every day :). Today she had kimchi-miso soup with "bap" or rice. As I watched her eat I felt a TINY pange of sadness- thinking she would have loved a Korean family where she could get all the Korean food she ever wanted and as she asked why I was starring at her I told her this. She quickly looked at me and said "that would be nice but I like you the most and we need to remember God made this happen and He DOESN'T make mistakes!" I will be honest and say there are days I am glad her biological mother could not parent her and then there are days I feel sadness for her biological mother-she is missing out on such a wonderful little person!
Kaitlyn says she can't wait for snow but complains when the temperature falls below 75, she misses her swimming pool and can't believe we closed it up for the winter "if we had just put a heater in it...". She looks forward to moving back to Texas where she can see her sister frequently but then states "oh man, I will not see Grandpa and Halmammie very much, or have ice cream from "N" store, I am so glad I don't have to make the choices of moving but Mom, you realize we have to live with your and dad's decisions, right?"
Kaitlyn's teacher admits that Kaitlyn still has difficulty processing into English but also admits that this little wonder is quickly beginning to read above grade level and before the year is out will be above grade level in all areas. She is not smart because of anything I do as I don't make her do extra writing, reading, math, or anything else. She reads and asks to be read to on her own, she "writes" books on a daily basis and is learning math by helping in the kitchen, playing and reading piano music, and just living life. She loves ballet but wants it to be more challenging, she is always trying to improve on what she already knows and does and has a natural curiosity for life and the world around her.
This will be Kaitlyn's 5th Christmas with us and all she wants is to have her family in the same room for one day-ok, I lie...she wants a sister and a brother, as in adopt 2 or 3 more children; she wants another bird to keep this one company, she wants a cat, another dog, some fish in a BIG tank, and a larger bike; she wants to go visit her friends and family in Korea, she wants to go to the beach, she wants to see her "yobo" who lives in Hawaii...but other than that she doesn't want much-lol
I hope to get pics posted soon!

Just Imagine

Today, 8 Nov 2009, in an Eastern USA state-we had 75 degree weather and completely clear, sunny skies! Just imagine if we could live like this every day! Or imagine we lived in Alaska-where my good friend does, and had to endure (or for some, enjoy) minus 5 degree temps at 3 PM! (sorry, I just can't imagine this one, not at my age. Mind you, I have lived in cold climates where it was minus 20 and colder at high noon, but again-don't even want to do it again!)
Just imagine we could chose the temperature and weather we wanted for that day-how many of us would chose rain, or much warmer weather, or snow, etc? Not many-and we would end up with larger sized mosquitos in greater quantities, the grass, trees, and flowers would wither, and the glorious life as we know it would cease...
So-just imagine being happy and thankful for what we are given each day-how would that change our outlook on life? How would it change the outlook others have on life if we were content to live today and accept the weather it offered realizing that today's weather effects "all our tomorrows"!?
Hmmmm, Just Imagine....